It is so easy to get caught up in the wedding that you forget about the “ever after” part. If you want it to be happy, you will have to do some planning. Happily ever after does not come easily. It takes a lot of hard work. You have to go through struggles and fight through the times when the going gets tough. It often starts getting tough on day one. Life does not care about your desire for an uninterrupted honeymoon period. And life does not wait until you are ready to take on the challenges. You have to anticipate before the wedding so that you can be prepared when the party is over.
The challenges you face immediately after the wedding are not always huge. But if you have not made certain arrangements, you could be blindsided by all of the little adjustments you have to make when going from living single to living with a partner. Marriage is different from dating, especially if you have waited until marriage for your domestic joining. You are moving into a house together. If you will both be moving, that is a huge transition. So after you return from the honeymoon, do these three things right away:
When you first get married, you need to immediately talk to an insurance professional and become familiar with the types of life insurance plans available to you. It is not just a matter of the lowest rate. You need to consider your health and general habits as well. How long do you plan on keeping the insurance? Do you think you might want to borrow money against the value of the insurance plan? How much coverage do you want as opposed to how much you really need? Will future children make a difference in the type of insurance that is best for you?
The moment you are married, you are not just living for yourself anymore. You might want to reconsider your love of dangerous activities. Unless you’re that kind of couple, Motorcycle racing is probably going to be a no-go. This is especially true if you are the primary provider of finances. You both have to trust each other to avoid unnecessary risks that might leave a survivor financially destitute and raising children without two parents. It is a sobering thought. And the time to have that thought is, if possible before you leave for the honeymoon.
Your First Bed as a Couple
Your first bed as newlyweds is an interesting and unexpected challenge. You sleep hot while he sleeps cold. You prefer a soft mattress while he prefers something more firm. This is not an easy challenge and can cause unexpected problems in the relationship. You both need 8 hours of sleep. And you both have a lot to do the next day. Compromise means not getting a good night’s sleep and being ready for what lies ahead.
You might have to try out several mattresses before deciding on the one to keep. There is also the complication of size. You pretty much stay in one spot all night while he is all over the bed. You need a king bed but your room is a double bed at best. If you are having trouble finding an acceptable solution, you might want to try one of those beds that allow each side to be customized. If that doesn’t work, get two twin beds and push them together. That is not a great solution either. But whatever you decide on, you have to start the process right away.
You don’t have to start working on children right away. Some experts believe it is best to wait until after you have a couple of years of relationship stability. You will also want to wait until you are financially ready for the commitment. What kind of community or extended family support do you have? Do you have any work insecurity you need to deal with? The thing you want to make clear before you tie the knot is that you either both want to have children, or that you don’t. If you haven’t had that conversation, don’t wait. Sit down and have it right away.
The wedding will be one of the most exciting occasions of your life. But adult responsibility waits for no one. Set your marriage up for success by sorting out life insurance, a bed you both love, and the timing of your first child.