This article started when I responded to a message on Twitter about why bloggers seem to only feature expensive weddings, or DIY backyard events. As I said there, sometimes it’s really hard to judge exactly how expensive a wedding was by looking at photos rather than the raw numbers. My wedding looked expensive, but while I would by no means say it was “cheap” we were certainly getting creative making things work when my parents (who graciously paid for most of it) lost most of their life savings in the economic downturn. The conversation with this particular bride made me think that there are probably more of you like the two of us out there – brides who are looking for ways to get a handle on what they’re spending while not looking like they skimped too much. Here’s some of the things I worked through that will hopefully give you some ideas on how to handle the same problem.
- The Splurges. The things that cost the most were flowers and my venue. We had already made contracts with the vendors before we realized that the bigger wedding we had planned needed to be tamed. Head count couldn’t be cut even if we wanted to because of guaranteed minimums, so that firmed up the price tag, as well. My mother is the master of negotiation, though, and was able to get some freebies here and there and was able to get lower prices on the flowers.
- Candy Buffets on the Cheap? I wanted a candy buffet, and ended up doing it myself rather than have the venue do it and charge me and arm and a leg for it. Because of really smart shopping, doing the buffet ended up only costing about $400. This essentially equated to less than $4 a head with a total count of 125 guests. Since shipping is expensive, one of the bulk candy vendors I found offered a flat shipping rate of $9.95 (edited to add: if you were wondering, it was ACandyStore) which saved me a lot of money – and because of that, I bought most of my candy from them. I didn’t buy my glassware from any online source, where shipping would have been outrageous. The containers were rented instead, which saved a lot of money over buying it outright, even locally.
- Rethinking the Ring. My wedding ring was a bigger budget purchase. It’s not the most expensive ring in the world, but not cheap either – and I chose the design to match the band I inherited from my grandmother, so it came with an added sentimental value. I wouldn’t trade my ring for the world, but that doesn’t mean I didn’t feel a little guilt when, after our budgets tightened, I couldn’t loosen up nearly as much money for his ring. My husband found a super modern titanium ring on Etsy for $80 that he absolutely loves. When it starts to wear in six or seven years, we’ll probably be in the financial situation where we could afford something more permanent. For now though, it’s precious to him and that’s what matters, not how expensive it was. Most people were actually floored it was so inexpensive when we showed it to them in person, too.
- Realizing a Designer Name Dress Isn’t Important. I went from a $5-7K budget to “as cheap as possible without looking cheap”. My dress was an absolute stunner by Sophia Tolli and it was all of $900 plus a couple extra hundred (to be expected) in alterations. I’ll be completely honest here – this dress looked better on me than anything I had tried on with a designer name and price tag on it. I felt good to be saving that much money from our initial estimate for it, but I felt even better when I wore that dress. I think we all get wound up in the label equating to the perfect dress for the perfect day, but I learned that it’s more important to worry about how it looks and how it makes you feel. That dress made me radiant.
- It’s All About Reverend Gill. We saved quite a bit of money and made it much more personal by having my friend, Gillian, marry us. If you have a friend who, like her, is writes well and is a great public speaker, enlist them. I still have people telling me what a fantastic job she did, and I really can’t thank her enough for what she did for us that day.
- Keep It Simple. And In One Place. Our ceremony and reception were in the same place. We paid a small fee to have the ceremony at our venue, but the cost was far less than booking a second location. Keeping it in the same location also nixed the need for booking transportation – a big cost savings.
- Premium Paper Goods, Pint Sized Budget. I did get my invitations letterpressed. As many of you know, I am a graphic designer – that little detail in the presentation was really important to me. Because I designed them myself however, I got a fairly substantial discount from the company that printed them. The savings was enough to justify another detail I was hoping for – hand calligraphy on my outer envelopes.
- Getting Crafty – Literally and Metaphorically. I had candy buffet signs, favor boxes, escort cards, and menus that I made totally on my own. I think most people are aware that Paper Source has a wholesale division called Waste Not Paper. The bulk of my paper was purchased through a local paper store that sold that paper at resale prices lower than Paper Source was selling their own stuff. Designing, printing, and assembling everything on my own as opposed to hiring someone else to do it or purchasing it from a vendor saved me quite a bit of money, though it was admittedly time consuming.
Here’s a question for you guys: how are you making it work on a tightened budget? Do you have any suggestions beyond these?
Image of Maddy’s DIYed Escort Cards by Brett Matthews Photography.
Annie @ Marry You Me says
It’s nice to hear I’m not alone and that another bride went through having to downsize your wedding – thanks for sharing your story! My parents had a similar situation. When our budget became downsized by about half 3 months before my wedding, I had to cut my guest count from 100 to about 60 (luckily I had not sent out invitations yet!). We decided to keep the pastor but skip the church ceremony, and I re-negotiated with our venue to downgrade to a smaller room for the reception and to add in a gazebo ceremony with cocktail hour. They re-applied our deposit from the larger room towards the ceremony and smaller reception room – I actually had some credit to apply towards the rest of the bill this way and I got the cocktail hour time thrown in for free! We offered a limited bar – wine, signature cocktail and punch/lemonade, and one amazing hors d’oeuvre. Since we had less guests, we saved on food, cake and cake cutting fee so we were able to get our dream cake with marzipan. Flowers were still amazing but cost much less so we were able to go more elaborate for the ceremony gazebo flowers. So it was a “budget wedding” of sorts but I don’t feel like you could tell by looking at it!
Maddy says
Thanks for sharing, Annie! I think we’re definitely not alone, and I think what we went through – passing on that learning curve is definitely helpful for others, so thanks again!
Catherine says
Hi Maddy,
I’m in the process of planning and I can see how your tips are right on track. The venue and food are going to be our biggest costs.
I agree with you — a lot of blogs seem to showcase only two types of weddings. What happens when the rest of us are trying to cut corners where corners can be cut, without people really noticing, and then adding things to make it that much more personal.
Thanks for this post!
Catherine
Catherine says
Maddy,
I was also wondering if you could help me out with something. You’re really great with colors. I have a very “victorian” style reception hall, and I need some help with colors. If I send over a few photos, are you willing to suggest some colors? No pressure at all, I was just wondering.
Thanks a lot!
Catherine
Kelly says
I’m currently planning my wedding. I didn’t know if my parents were going to help (still don’t for sure, but I think so), so I set the budget to $5k for the whole wedding. So far, I’m on track. I bought my dress on after-summer clearance sale for $70. My engagement ring came from Etsy and cost $40. I booked a local venue that gives me a discount for being a resident. It’s not the fanciest place (my second choice was an old Opera House). But…it has white walls and a huge hard-wood dance floor and my rental fee (less than the cost of 8 hours at most places) includes a kitchen, 4 hours on Friday and 12 hours on Saturday. I’m crafty and my mom is a good Foreman. I know we can make it look nice in that amount of time.
The biggest money-saver is that is it going to be a potluck wedding. I designed cute recipe cards and will have matching food labels. We’re not asking for any gifts because, frankly, we have realized we really don’t need much. My best friends had a potluck wedding and although some people online seem to feel it is “tacky” (they aren’t invited to my wedding) – I thought it was wonderful. How can you go wrong with a big variety of home-cooked food?
I think it comes down to prioritizing. I love to create & decorate and my fiance loves photography. So those will be our two biggest expenditures.
Julianna says
Maddy — what was the process for having your friend Gillian marry you. Did she have to be certified? How does that work. Any resources you can share? We are thinking about having one of my fiance’s uncles officiate for us but aren’t sure what that would mean (i.e. does he have to go through some lengthy process to become ordained? etc???). thanks for your help.
julianna
Maddy says
Hey Julianna – it really depends on your state and sometimes your county. In California, for example, you can get a justice of the peace certificate for the day and you’re certified – my great Uncle did that when his daughter got married. On the other hand, what I went through to make it kosher was a lot different than my husband’s sister – even though I got married on Long Island and she was married only 40 minutes away in Manhattan. I would check the regulations for the area with the local town or city hall where you’ll be married. In my case, Gill was “ordained” here – http://www.themonastery.org/jcontent/marriage-laws?template=themonastery
Kate says
I am SO excited about this post and that many people feel the same frustration with some of the wedding blogs that constantly feature these giant weddings planned by wedding planners (who submit the photos for publication, etc.) I can’t tell you how good it feels to know I’m not the only one!! Thanks so much for helping everyone out Maddy.
Maddy says
Absolutely! Thanks for starting the conversation!
jemma says
what exactly is an “expensive” wedding? $5,000, $10,000, $20,000, $35,000, $100,000?
having budget cutbacks from $50,000 to $25,000 can be disappointing, but the real challenge seems to be doing a wedding for $10,000-$15,000 or less.
just thinking. definitions of “expensive” and “budget” aren’t the same for everyone in every case.
Julianna says
Thanks Maddy! We live in Manhattan but are getting married in Southern VA so we’ll see — good tips though. Thanks!!!
natosha says
Hi ladies! Does anyone have advice for getting a friend/relative certified to perform a ceremony? We do not want to go through any website/organization/etc with religious affiliations, but we want it to be more personal than a justice of the peace.
Melissa M says
Love your blog Maddy! Thanks for all the awesome inspiration. Would you mind sharing the candy & paper vendors you mentioned (even just a quick email with their names would be great!). I’m just getting started planning and would love to know what great money saving resources you used. Thanks!!
Maddy says
The candy company was http://www.acandystore.com/ – I’ll email you the letterpress printer because I don’t know if the discount I mentioned was something they publicize…
Gina says
I’m using silk flowers which has cut the cost for flowers by more than half! In my county in California, a friend can take the officiant-for-a-day training offered by the county for a $113.
Sarah says
Thanks for the great notes–I feel like I am in a similar place with planning. I do not want a backyard wedding, but I would like to save where I can. I am in a similar situation with stationary. I went to school for Fine Arts, so I feel as though this should be something I can do on my own. I am, however, having an extremely difficult time finding a printer (I would like to try and save money for calligraphy as well). Would you mind sharing the info for yours? Thank you!
una says
Thank you,
This article really help
Blake says
I have a degree in graphic design, and I have designed my own invitations. But b/c I chose a different career path I am limited in my knowledge of printers and vendors. I have the design done and a paper source, but I need a good inexpensive printer. Would you be willing to email me the name of your printer?
Maddy says
Hey Blake, I emailed you!
Kelly S. says
Hi Maddy, just found your blog this past week and it is a dream! I was wondering if you might share with me your letterpress printer contact and the retail store that carried waste not paper as well. Thank you so much for your inspiration 🙂
Nely says
Hey Maddy,
I think its great that you have taken the time to help so many with these little details that make such a big difference . Especially for girls like us on a “budget”. I live in Miami and have found it to be ridiculous to find the right venue without having to spend on arm and a leg.Believe it or not I’ve been really blessed , I have lots of friends and family who are talented and can pitch in. I even have a family friend who’s a caterer and is giving me a great deal. The hard part is that I want a beach wedding and none of the hotels allow outside catering and I cant start planning until I have my venue.;;sigh:: anyway, I think it great that you’ve taken time from your day to share your helpful tips and have been kind enough to share your sources. If you have an oppurtunity ,I would love to find out about your letter press printer and the retail store that carried waste not paper. I appreciate all you help.
donna' wedding ideas says
Well, let me tell you my cousin’s experience about this whole budget thing. She and her fiance got married last February and we all know that there are lots of couples wanting to get married during that month as well. So she started shopping for accessories and wedding needs with the help of family and friends, including me. They really have a limited budget. So what she did was rent this wedding dress from an old costume store. For the bridesmaids’s gown, she actually rented some prom night gowns. The tuxedos were rented as well. With regards to the foods, she hired a catering company but for the wedding cake, she made these tiny cakes and put in a table that is beautifully designed. Not extraordinary of course but what touched me was her words. She said, “I am never ashamed that I did lots of things to make this wedding possible even with small budget. Some people may not like the fact that i rented most of the attires and all. But what matters is all of you are still here despite of that.” Truly, a wedding need not to be extravagant. What matters is that the people you love are there to witness and celebrate this special day with you.